For some time, a question has been occupying my mind: Why should we help others? Or why should someone help me? What meaning and value does helping hold? I’ll try to analyze this question in a few points.

1. Choice Theory in a simple definition is about choices and the how and why behind them. Choice theory explains how we, as humans, select our behavior to achieve what we want. According to this theory, everything we do is a behavior, and all behaviors are intentional and internally motivated. In other words, everything we do addresses one of these needs: 1. survival, 2. love, belonging, and spirituality, 3. power (success, personal value, reputation), 4. freedom and autonomy, 5. fun. Helping others falls under the second and third needs. Helping thus fosters a sense of belonging to a group (unspecified) and also satisfies the need for power in a meaningful way.

2. Good and bad people can be distinguished by one essential factor: having a sense of empathy. Helping others strengthens your empathy and makes you feel better at night when you rest your head on your pillow.

3. Beyond the scientific facts, I believe most people deserve help. Surely you’ve met a few ungrateful psychopaths in life that made you decide not to help anyone. But believe it or not, they are very few among all humans, and most of them deserve compassion rather than hatred. The rest are people who, with a little push, can achieve a better life and will likely be the ones to support you in difficult days that inevitably come.

4. Humans are social beings and need connection. When a member of a community you belong to (family, friends, city, or country) faces a crisis or problem and you are unable to actively help, there are two options:

• Dismiss it with empty words.
• Encourage them.

The first option includes all the phrases people casually use in similar situations, which don’t take responsibility or lead to action. It’s the easiest and most painless choice, with phrases like “you can do it” or “trust in God.”

Encouragement, though also just words, leaves a small possibility that you might take action. This small possibility often helps alleviate the feeling caused by the crisis. The person, trusting in that possibility, pursues solving their problem more seriously and likely won’t need you. However, creating this sense of trust ensures they forever feel indebted to you and, in similar situations, will become your helper.