Not long ago, I was with one of my friends, and that day I was in such a mood that I kept complaining about certain problems I had faced in the past, things that could have been avoided. My friend gave me an answer that completely crushed me in that moment. He said: there are people in this world who long for nothing more than a hot meal. You, me, who don’t have that longing, shouldn’t be upset or complain about the things you lack now. It’s not rare for me to feel demolished when talking to influential people, but in this case something didn’t sit right with me, and from the start I resisted the idea deep down.

A few days later, my mind was still occupied with why his words felt wrong, and I arrived at two reasons.

First, I wish those people did have hot meals to eat, but I have no responsibility in that regard. I didn’t cause them to fail financially in their lives. They live in this country under the same laws and difficulties that I do, and they are responsible for their own situation. They should either accept it or work to improve it, which, in my limited view, is not that hard. True, not everyone starts life’s challenges from the same place, but in this city, finding a minimum-wage job for men, women, or even children isn’t impossible. That means it’s possible to have a hot meal a few times a month, maybe even every day. So, if someone can’t manage to have a hot meal, it’s because they haven’t tried hard enough, and I shouldn’t feel responsible for that. Of course, uncontrollable events do happen that lead to such conditions, but that falls under the millions of things outside my control, like people killed in wars, or massacres in Rwanda, Algeria, or Myanmar. I can’t do anything to stop those, either.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a heartless person. I’m the same one who, back in elementary school, cried for an entire month because a student missed the bus.

Second, if no one ever felt upset about what they lacked, if we erased sadness and dissatisfaction toward every unfavorable condition in life, then what motivation would remain to change those conditions? In that case, people would accept whatever life handed them without making any effort to improve or overcome it. Not being dissatisfied means having no wishes or desires, and that would leave us no better than cavemen, maybe even worse. None of these advancements would have happened, because back then one caveman would’ve just kept eating his cold food without complaint.

Altogether, these reasons make me feel I do have the right to be upset about what I don’t have, to express dissatisfaction with my life and past. But I must emphasize that this sadness shouldn’t just linger endlessly (I completely reject letting it drag on). Instead, I should use that dissatisfaction as motivation to move toward better circumstances.