Long before my military service ended, a friend pointed out that I needed to make a “plan” for what comes after. He felt that my plan only extended until the end of service and that I had no idea what to do afterward. And he was right.

At 18, I decided to get my bachelor’s degree in computer engineering by the age of 24 and complete my military service. With unexpected delays between my associate and bachelor’s degrees, before and during service, and additional service time, this extended to age 25, but still manageable. When the service ended, almost nine months ago, I still haven’t prepared a plan for myself. Even though I’ve migrated and am working in Istanbul, I still have no plan, and in my view, my presence here is somewhat unnecessary.

My current situation is less about confusion and more about being pathless. No existing path aligns with what I want, assuming I even know what I want.

Ali Sekhavati, in his podcast, quotes Saadi: “Going on the desert path is better than sitting idly in vain.” But one thing is overlooked: people don’t share the same perspective or feelings about life. This isn’t supernatural. For example, depression is more of a physical condition than a mental one, caused by the lack of certain molecules in the brain. Consider how many differences or disorders arise from deficiencies of essential brain elements that affect a sense of balance. I’ll skip challenging the very definition of balance for now.

In short, the level of abstraction in dealing with life’s events is so complex that even you can’t draft a full solution for yourself. So when you look a little deeper, you can’t create the plan you’re supposed to make. Go even higher, and any plan you try to make will inevitably fail at some point, leaving you with dissatisfaction toward your own plan.

“All my existence is a verse of darkness, which will carry you, repeating yourself within me, to the dawn of eternal awakenings and growth...”