9 PM on a snowy night, starting the walk from the beginning of Shahnaz Street, reaching Cafe Jazou, and the violin album Cafe De Beyoğlu plays. I’m sure Tarlan Gazanferoğlu, may he rest in peace, knew that one day we would listen to this album. That’s why he played it with so much love. The Jazou kids have been creative from the start. Two masala coffees, standing in front of the café, staring with your excited Tatar eyes at the falling snow. Watching the Christmas decorations at Cafe Jazou. Thinking about the past and how wonderful it would have been if I had seen you earlier. For instance, being with you from the moment you were born and never missing a single moment of you. You’d ask what I was thinking, I’d say nothing and smile, and that “nothing” would become the most everything “nothing” of my life.

You’d pull your scarf over your face and say you were cold, and I’d be torn between finding a way to warm you up or just watching your restless shivering. I’d sink into thought. What’s the secret of this street that makes it impossible to leave? How many winters and lovers have experienced this very moment? Did their hearts beat more for the other person than mine did for you? No. That’s impossible. I’m sure none of them had someone like you.

Passing by a shop, our steps felt heavier. You’d stare at a red scarf. How could anyone say no? We went inside. You draped the scarf over your head. You’d ask how you looked, and I’d tell you that for years you’ve been the most beautiful girl in this city, whether with that scarf or without it.

By the time we reached the end of the street, neither of us felt our frozen feet. You’d tease me, “Look at what I make you do for me,” and I’d say, “Look at the memories we’ve made together that we’ll think about for years, even when we’re not together. Even when I’m on this side of the world and you’re on the other side.”

Ankara, November 21, 2018.

Related:

• Dream of Ankara
• Dream of Venda
• Dream of Arasbaran