Following the internet shutdown and people’s impatience to escape the current situation, some thoughts came to mind that I felt needed to be written. Leaving Iran is so difficult and requires such patience that just making the decision feels like a major achievement. The culture of deep family dependency (and family dependence on you), mandatory military service, parental permission, and countless other factors create the illusion that the hardest part is deciding, so much so that in some places I’ve read dialogues like: “That’s enough, I’ve decided to leave.”

Just one small question: where?

What made you think other countries have rolled out the red carpet for you? Are you still trapped in the mindset that ninety percent of NASA employees are Iranian? Did you know that in no country (unless you go through endless hurdles) will they open a bank account for you? Did you know the only country where you could stay on a tourist visa for a year was Turkey, and even that law limits it to one year with no extension? Did you know that no country hands out work visas as easily as you think? Did you know the landlord I was trying to rent from said he would have rented to a Syrian or Iraqi, but because you’re Iranian, he wouldn’t? Did you know the unemployment rates in every country and what advantage you really have over locals? What advantage do you have over migrants from other countries who came to your desired country? Did you know I lost one of the best job opportunities to a Moroccan guy because he was Sunni (closer to them)? Did you know getting an embassy appointment for most European countries takes a year, let alone finding a job and convincing the government to grant you a work visa over their own unemployed citizens? Did you know tourist visas for Europe are only issued if you show a return ticket? Did you know you aren’t allowed to enter the US at all? Did you know what the world you’ll face after migration is really like? Have you heard from those who returned after migrating? Have you listened to their reasons?

Believe it or not, the days you encounter after migration are new days, they are not replacements for the days you left behind. You are not going back to high school. You are not reliving your teenage or young adult years. What you face aligns with the timeline of your life that you were meant to experience in Iran. It’s just harder here, and the challenges will be added to your existing ones. Were you a third-class citizen in Iran? Here, you are not even a citizen. Couldn’t you find a job in Iran due to nepotism and lack of meritocracy? Didn’t you get paid on time? Here, you don’t even have the right to stay, let alone work. Did your vote in Iran impact your life? Here, you don’t even have the right to vote.

Sometimes, when I see war-affected Syrians and refugees or read about Iraq and Afghanistan after the war started, all I want is for such tragedies to stay far from my homeland. We don’t deserve to become like them. Whether you accept it or not, we only have this one homeland. With all its flaws.