For over a year, I’ve been just thinking, about everything. So much that people here have grown frustrated with my silence and withdrawal. I have hundreds of pages of notes from all this thinking, though they’re so chaotic and tangled that I doubt anyone else could make sense of them. Sometimes I think about things that scare me, things that might make me lose control of my mind. Even now, I’m already highly prone to schizophrenia. What’s even sadder is that in the world where my real self exists, I’m extremely alone. Aside from a few people I have thousands of miles of distance from, there’s no one else.

It seems I’ve overdone trying to understand the truth. It feels like my goals and my life have destroyed me.