When you decide to do something unusual or difficult, if no one has done it before strange things can happen, and I don’t want to talk about that right now. But if someone or a group has done it before you, they become a source of motivation and encouragement. After all, if someone else could do it, so can you.

For example, when quitting smoking, reactions fall into two categories. Non-smokers who have no idea what the struggle is like often say, “Great, you can do it!” but you sense no real feeling behind their words. The second group is smokers who completely discourage you, insisting quitting is impossible and you might as well give up. Then there’s sometimes a third kind: someone who quit long ago, whose face shows the tension and struggle they endured, and they tell you, “Yes, it’s possible.” And you actually feel it, you gain the motivation and will to start or continue.

So what can shatter this mindset? When the very person who may be your main motivator for quitting, or for doing anything, sometimes slips and goes back to what they left behind. Suddenly, you’re left holding onto a task whose main reason or inspiration is gone. Then you have to become your own champion and find your own reasons to keep going.

Another example comes from early university days. I was searching for a café and came across a blog written by a student girl, documenting her group’s adventures and experiences. I wondered, why don’t I have a group like this? If it’s possible to gather a group and do exciting things together, why not? After several failed attempts to bring friends together, I finally formed a group. Much of my old blog (Sözler) became a record of our group’s trips and activities.

It went so far that the very girl whose blog I’d found joined our group, creating shared memories for both of us. Later, I realized her blog had been mostly fictional, not actual events! In other words, I formed a group based on reasons that I believed existed, when in reality they didn’t.

Another example: in the early days of organizing Startup Weekend Tabriz, we held sessions where everyone listed their contacts, people who could help, from the local grocer to textile factories, dairy farms, and even Barack. I tried to think of people I knew who could contribute, but drew a blank and felt frustrated. I had already decided to step out of my shell, but that day I became more determined to expand my social network and meet more people in every field. I had some success, but as usual, later I realized most of what was discussed in that session was more imagination than reality.