Araz Gholami

I'm not busy, I'm just an as*hole

I wake up at 9 a.m. and spend about half an hour rolling around in bed. I spend at least another hour in the same position, checking Twitter, Instagram, Telegram channels and groups, and several other social networks. Then I get up and, without doing the slightest bit of exercise, I forcefully splash some water on my face and sit down for breakfast. I turn on the TV and scroll through the channels. It’s 11 a.m. I eat or don’t eat and move on to my laptop. I open the browser and check social media again. It’s noon. I check news sites. A few bombings happened somewhere. I tweet a few posts with #PrayForChandja. I take a selfie and post it on Instagram with the caption “Starting a productive day.” At the same time, I see a few photos, remember a movie, open it, and watch it. By 2 p.m., it’s lunch time. I eat and get back to work. I have a ton of things to do today. I open Google Keep and look at my endless task list. I add a few ideas that came to me last night. I think to myself, I wish I had 10-20 employees doing this for me. What a waste of my genius.

While thinking about this, a Twitter notification pops up. Someone mentioned me. I reply. Another Instagram notification comes in, some people liked my photo. There’s also a spam comment. I pick up my phone, check Telegram too. Several notifications from different channels. I check them. It’s 4 p.m. Days pass so fast. I feel like writing a blog post about how quickly days go by. I open my blog admin panel. My neck and back hurt. I break my promise and lie down. I close my eyes, and when I open them, it’s 6 p.m. I pick up my phone and check social media again. It’s 7 p.m. I put on my clothes and go for a walk. I take the book a friend gave me to read in a café. I get there. It’s 8 p.m. I order and sit down. I open the book and look at its cover. A notification pops up. I check social media once more. It’s 9 p.m. Now, who wants to go all the way back home? I pick up my book and head back. It’s 10 p.m. I eat dinner. 11 p.m., I sit at my laptop and check social media again. Midnight. I play a rap song and decide to change this routine starting tomorrow. I shut down the laptop and lie down in bed. One last round on Twitter, Telegram, and Instagram. My eyes are closing. 1 a.m., I finally close my eyes.

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