After overcoming insomnia with various healthy and not-so-healthy techniques, I dove headfirst into my old and ever-present headache, adding it to my already numerous problems. This one can’t be fixed by any known method. Probably there’s no other way to get rid of it except smashing your head with a club, or at least, I haven’t found one.

Yesterday, my friend, in response to my complaint about how tedious life has been lately, said that if I don’t enjoy myself and my life, I shouldn’t expect anyone else to come and change my situation. But I can’t bring myself to enjoy this state, imagining that from here on, discounting a few spices, my life will just repeat routinely, without anything significant happening. Maybe I’m supposed to learn how to create an enjoyable routine for myself. Or maybe this is just part of the system, and as long as I’m inside it, nothing changes.

These days, Turkey mourns Leyla, a child who was murdered after being assaulted, sparking demonstrations in various cities demanding the return of the death penalty and the execution of her killer. It makes me think how similar the world feels everywhere.

Myself and I cannot deny this anymore
Hatred is poured all over me
And now, I must reciprocate this emotion
For life is to suffer and death belongs to you.