I always thought the reason my birthdays tend to be boring, disappointing, or upsetting was my fault. That I didn’t value my friends enough or invest enough in them. So this year, months before my birthday, I decided to make my friends' birthdays as important and meaningful as possible to me. I spent a significant amount on gifts and gave them as much attention and time as I could. The result? Predictable. I was wrong.

Here’s a summary of my friends’ and acquaintances’ reactions to my birthday:

1. One friend messaged me a day after my birthday asking me to design a logo and letterhead for them for free.
2. A few days before my birthday, another friend cursed me out and walked away when I suggested a change in their life.
3. My friend and colleague Omar invited me out once and spent three hours in front of me, working on his project on his laptop.
4. Someone very valuable to me gave me news that caused me to vomit twice from sheer stress.
5. A bank sent me a text saying they were with me.

O Jesus, grant me tears from your eyes and humility from your heart; line your eyes with the kohl of sorrow when the people of falsehood laugh. Stand over the graves of the dead and call out to them aloud, so that you may receive lessons from them, and say: surely I will also be among those connected to you.