I haven’t been writing for a few months. Partly because of depression, and partly because nothing exciting or worth writing about has happened. Life recently has been completely uneventful and ordinary. Naturally, I’m not used to this. I should also admit that part of it is because I haven’t felt like reading anything new, not articles, not books. Though I’ve softened the days a bit with the help of series like Dark, Mindhunter, and Sharp Objects.

In my attempts to overcome depression (which I’ll write about in a separate post), I’ve changed many of my daily routines. Because of changing one of them, I’ve become extremely irritable and sensitive. Even the sound of people talking on the street gets on my nerves.

Today, when I opened the window, I saw the whole city covered in fog, with visibility only a few meters ahead. It’s a beautiful sight for most people, but even more so for me. When I was younger, my idea of “abroad” was a foggy place. Finally, after almost two years, I’ve come close to that vision.

Last night, after a week of following up about the broken water heating system with the response “we told the municipality, but no one answers,” I confronted the landlord. Comparing Turkey to Iran made him feel embarrassed and ashamed.

Regarding work and the company, there’s still nothing new except frustration due to tensions from the remote team. Also, since I don’t have the chance to cook or make tea at home, I brought the tea I brought from Iran to the office and feel proud of my clever idea. Because of staff reductions, I’ve lost all my friends, or at least those I could talk to. During the day, I’m completely alone, and no one comes into my office.

Last year around this time, I faced my first major challenge during migration and, after losing my job, had to move to Ankara. This autumn mood brings back memories of that period, which I plan to write about in a separate post. In other words, this will be my first autumn and winter in Istanbul.